#kitteh train

[derangedbutfun]

Naughty Cat

Dedicated to Jackson Galaxy

YOU KNOW THE MELODY

Naughty cat, naughty cat They should be training you Naughty cat, naughty cat It's not your fault

You're keeping them up all night The neighbours cat you try to fight You pee on stuff and scratch the sofa And steal and chew the loofa

Naughty cat, naughty cat They should be training you Naughty cat, naughty cat It's not your faaaaaaauuuuuuuuult!

[gornwen]

It's important to cat-proof your bookshelf. You never know what light reading they might pick out.

Unrelated, anyone have advice on how to live with a small samurai with murder in her eyes?

[emo--chanel]

those three cats are like

[toxic-mothers-tourney]

Toxic Lightning Round 1: Warriors

Rainflower vs. Millie vs. Lizardstripe vs. Mapleshade

Why they're the Worst (TM)

Rainflower:

Basically disowned her son after he was permanently disabled due to falling in the river and smashing his jaw on a rock. Had him RENAMED after his injury (Stormkit -> Crookedkit) and said she couldn't love him because he was "ugly". Spent the rest of her life ignoring him and heavily favoring her other son and Crooked's brother. AND YET. SHE STILL GOT TO GO TO HEAVEN???

She didn’t allow him as a small child to sleep in the same nest as her and his brother, basically the cat version of throwing him out on the streets. Rainflower also forced their leader to change his name to something that reflected his disability, and once he was old enough to provide for himself effectively disowned him. This extreme emotional abuse had a huge effect on both of her sons, and caused her disabled son to literally start training in cat hell because he didn’t feel appreciated anywhere else.

read more here

Millie

Treated her daughter's disability as a tragedy and used it as an excuse to neglect her other children. Briarlight deserved better 🔪🔪🔪

Lizardstripe

tw: cat murder)))) let the kitteh win the tournament, she pretty much just hated her kits including a foster kitten she was forced to adopt, and that foster kitten was bullied by her kits and he was blamed for it. pretty toxic mom ngl also she's a kitty look at the lil hissy girl look at her /affectionate (this also goes for rainflower too I just hate her)

Mapleshade:

Oh boy, strap in bc this one’s crazy. So, Mapleshade was a cat who died several generations before the main series began. She had kids through an illegal relationship with the man who killed her leader’s son, and she and her very young children were ultimately exiled from their Clan when the truth of their parentage was revealed. Mapleshade tried to take them across the river to their father, and all three kittens were swept away and drowned. Mapleshade then went on a grief-fueled killing spree, driven by hallucinations of her dead children urging her to kill the cats she perceived to be responsible for their deaths. Eventually, she confronted her ex and his pregnant mate (bc oh yeah, it turns out Mapleshade was the Other Woman), and the ex was killed protecting his pregnant mate. Mapleshade also died in this fight, but her hatred was so strong that she basically became a demon in cat hell and declared eternal suffering on her ex’s entire bloodline. Two generations later, the ex’s grandson breaks his jaw as a kitten and is rejected by his mother. Mapleshade swoops in as a maternal figure and promises to make the poor kid into the best warrior he can be, despite his broken jaw being a significant disability. She grooms and manipulates him throughout his entire life, and every person he loves dies horribly, one by one. Whether or not Mapleshade actually caused these deaths is unclear, but she does make Crookedstar (the cat she’s been manipulating) believe that she’s caused them. This is because when Crookedstar was a small, rejected child, she made him promise her that he would always put his Clan first. Being a kid, Crookedstar made the promise without a second thought, not realizing that Mapleshade meant that he could never be close with anyone (since that would mean putting his loved ones before his Clan). Therefore, Crookedstar thinks that every death of his loved ones is a punishment from Mapleshade, his maternal figure, for breaking the promise he made as a kitten.

mod notes:

[lokisgoodgirl]

I would like to send a love note to my dear @xorpsbane.

Her creativity and sense of humor and talent in writing always keeps me hooked. She is so talented and just one of the nicest people you can come accross on here! 🤗🥰🥰🥰

Xorpsy!!! God....the way she makes me laugh. I have honestly never wheezed so hard at a fic, or just like...comments about thirst trains in general than when @xorpsbane is involved 😂😂 We adore you SO much - and we miss your lil face a whole lot. You are appreciated and deserve ALL the big hugs (kitteh or otherwise!) Thanks so much @mochie85 for this Love Note for our dear X - she is a treasure and she deserves to know💖

[asterakifaye]

@candiceirae @knighthawkchapter

Khajiit has fares if you have coin

(via)

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

556 of 2023

Christmas is on my mind

Created by joybucket

What book would you like for Christmas?

I have something Christmas-themed to read on the way.

What clothing item would you like for Christmas?

I don't care for clothing items, I can afford my own.

What color tree do you have, and what color tree do you want?

I, have a small green tree and it's perfectly enough.

What's your favorite Christmas album of all time?

No, thanks.

Who is someone that you think should be more famous?

Can't think of anyone particular, just this French band HRFTR. They're not Christmas-themed, though :P

When was the last time you read the BIble?

20+ years ago, and never touched it since.

Do you own a Bible?

No, I don't.

Do you visit coffee shops often?

Ya, every time in the Netherlands lol. Cheers to those who understand the reference.

What was the last drink you had that was really good?

Vanilla-flavoured hot chocolate from Starbucks.

What was the last drink you had that wasn't very good?

Can't remember.

Do you try new drinks often?

Not that often, honestly.

When you go to a coffee shop, do you usually order the same thing or try something new?

Yea I wish I could say I order weed, but nope, I don't. :P

What's your favorite pizza topping?

Mushrooms, bell peppers and lots of cheese.

How many pairs of gloves do you wear in the winter?

One, it's enough.

Do you believe in angels?

Yeah, they came in the form of cats.

Have you ever seen an angel?

Yup, I even have two. Kittehs be angels.

Do you think you've ever felt the presence of an angel?

Yeah, every time my kitties are snuggling.

Do you feel content with your life?

Yeah, I do. Even despite the chronic illness.

What do your favorite pair of Christmas earrings look like?

Jut some green hoops and studs I wear all over my ears since each of them is pierced multiple times.

Do you own reindeer antlers?

I own what? It's abstract where I come from.

What's one random act of kindness that you want to do this year?

Anything, just anything that is a true act of kindness.

What's one Christmas DIY craft that you want to do this year?

Never thought about it.

Do you bake cookies this time of year?

No, I don't anymore.

..and if not, do you want to learn?

I don't have to learn. I already know how to bake cookies, I just don't fancy doing it.

Do you think you could do a good job decorating a gingerbread house?

Never tried, maybe it would be a good training for my disabled hand.

Are you going to leave milk and cookies out for Santa?

We don't do it in my country. It's abstract to me.

Does it feel like Christmas to you this year? Does it feel magical?

It doesn't as much as it used to feel when I was a child.

What gets you in the Christmas spirit?

Shopping for Christmas goodies.

Do you make Christmas lists still?

No, I never did.

Would you ever get married in the winter?

Too late, I got married in spring.

Do you know anyone who's gotten married in the winter?

Nah, all my friends got married at normal time of the year.

Are you wearing red or green right now?

Yea, my trousers got green in them.

Do you own red pants?

Not anymore, I think.

WOuld you rather wear gold or silver?

Silver. Definitely silver.

Do you like your city's Christmas decorations?

Yeah, my city is pretty creative about them.

Are you happy?

In general, I am.

What's your favorite Christmas movie?

I hate movies, but I would choose Love Actually, even though I hate romantic movies.

Have you finished Christmas shopping yet?

Hell I haven't even started.

Do you feel loved?

Yeah, I always do.

[hussi786]

Cat love.

be happy always with your pets.  learn how to train Your Pets

[oh-i-swear-writes]

Silence is golden, except if you have a kitten who woke you up at 6am and is now silent. That shit is suspicious as fuck.

[thephilosophyoffitness]

Next microcycle (training week) starts today with high bar squats Olympic weightlifting style (ass-to-grass), followed by lying leg curls, a zillion calf raises (wtf even is Maximum Recoverable Volume (MRV) on these things anyway? 10 sets in a workout? 12?!), and then a bit of upper body work with tricep pressdowns and standing dumbbell overhead press.

This is as per Renaissance Periodization's Male physique training template, the 4 day full body Novice/intermediate program, which has an algorithm to help appropriately titrate volume dosing to make sure you aren't over doing or under doing your training. I used to struggle with balancing those two things in my training and so far this program has helped a lot with that. It'll have me deloading after 3 more weeks of volume and intensity and load progression.. I might cut it off after 2 more though since my mom will be coming down from Canada to visit for a weekend and I figure that's a good time to deload.

And these are my and my wife's two baby cats, little girl Penny (black) and little boy Charlie (grey and white) harassing me while I try to lace up my shoes as usual, to walk to the gym.

Also the shoes are NB Minimus, the trail walking version, but I use them as my general purpose training shoe, for pretty much everything except squats/hack squats/leg press, where I've recently discovered that weightlifting shoes really help me to hit a full depth Olympic squat even with my awkwardly long femurs.

Any type of minimalist shoe is ideal for deadlifts of all types, since having your heels down allows for maximal activation of the posterior chain. And for walking since they help strengthen the foot (I'm still trying to work on reducing my tendency to flat-footed-ness), especially the arch.

[justanotherfacet]

Folks, since my last post was “humans are shitheads” let’s have something cuter.

Please help me pick my calico and orange tabby’s decorative collars:

https://www.amazon.com/Black-Temptation-Necklace-Accessories-Style-2/dp/B07VBF9YGF/ref=sr_1_104?dchild=1&keywords=Black+Temptation+collars&qid=1622250823&sr=8-104

(peach and white)

https://www.amazon.com/Black-Temptation-Necklace-Accessories-Bell-10/dp/B07VHK7S1Y/ref=sr_1_123?dchild=1&keywords=Black+Temptation+collars&qid=1622250823&sr=8-123

(red and white, not precisely Christmas-themed but would blend into that sort of deal)

https://www.amazon.com/Black-Temptation-Necklace-Accessories-Style-4/dp/B07VDKJC72/ref=sr_1_183?dchild=1&keywords=Black+Temptation+collars&qid=1622250858&sr=8-183

(darker shade of red, way less Christmas-y looking)

https://www.amazon.com/Black-Temptation-Necklace-Accessories-Bell-8/dp/B07VHP7ZKH/ref=sr_1_194?dchild=1&keywords=Black+Temptation+collars&qid=1622250888&sr=8-194

(light aqua/white)

https://www.amazon.com/Black-Temptation-Necklace-Accessories-Bell-1/dp/B07VHLXMKL/ref=sr_1_197?dchild=1&keywords=Black+Temptation+collars&qid=1622250888&sr=8-197

(valentine’s pink i’m REALLY tempted to put this on naranja for “fuck the not even that old ‘pink is girls blue is boys’ nonsense)

[iceclew]

OK so - this was such a delight people. <3

I had this on my "to-be-read-and-I'm-very-much-looking-forward-to-it"-stack and I was glad to not forget about it! There's not much fanfiction for KN8 rn (at least not much I know about), so i looked forward to it and like a quarter in the fic I started taking notes on what to comment because OMG THERE'S SO MUCH ABOUT THIS I HAVE TO SAY!! so...*adjusts non existing glasses* shall we proceed then?

First and f*kcking foremost. "a LITTLE KAFHOSHI" ?? DUDE. I EXPECTED LIKE *HINTS*. TINY HIDDEN HINTS AND YOU GIVE ME THIS BEAUTIFUL WORDS OF YOURS?!?! How do I deserve, I asked you gifting me this much of my OTP!?!! T_T yess. just yess ok? I'll take them as a canon ship in your FFs ANYTIME like that!!

*clears throat* ANYWAY. Kafka being undoubtly a fkcing menace to this world of his but like - in the MOST adorable way possible. I so much live for this chaotic dipshit. Now add a neck breaking pink-haired-but-no-brains dipship and you got dipshit duo promising to make the night a blast! o_o/

Also only Kafka: now that I'm finally a troop member, who needs them anyway, let's eat up that squid-shit-kaiju, i just casually strung down just because I CAN. Real dad-move there - providing for the family-might I say everyone. AND HE WASN'T EVEN FULL ON DRUNK AT THIS POINT, THIS IS HILARIOUS!! And despite all of that, PLUS kinky Kafka PLUS Kafka the broken mess as he is PLUS Kafka the bis bear friend with the warm grin - it all gives me the feels, I'm head over heels for him thank you. sdasahfdkfhdjsklf he bought Iharu stuff for his bf, guys. That's how parenting's done right. (i'd love to see Kafka havin a supportive dad-pep-talk with Reno after that honestly :D)

Also FLUFF Iharu has now won a special place in my heart, thank you. He's like a tiny bebe kitteh ready to scratch if you don't give attention, Reno you better be taking ur kitteh with u next time u go kill kaiju, I say! c:

ALSO - food driven Aoi is my spirit animal from now on . <3 Also I'd like this do be headcanon, that the four of them are now spiritually connected by cowboy hats. Might I add being FAB in them!! *~+*~*

At the point of grabbing Aois ass I broke character entierly and simply laughed through the rest of the show <3 My neighbours probably think I'm the weird lady of the block now - thank you, worth it :D Grinned way too hard and maliciously at this point.

And then you treat me AGAIN, friend! Deadass pissed Hoshina is all I literally needed. ALL I SAY!! I was so looking forward to their return, the second Kafka swooped out of the office. Fully aware hell's gonna rise the second he returns. Was not dissapointed. Not one bit :D Also another way too loud crack up from me about the "NO OFFICE SEX FOR YOU SIR!!!" like ldkjgjfdogjilIsadsdasd I love my blorbo-basically-already-married-hot-dads having a fight over how to care fore the bebes. <3 all the feels for that idea honestly.

I also had an idea for a comic where Narumi taking the number-user out for a drunk night after a training session, getting Kikoru and Reno shit ass drunk and posting about it on social media, only to get the chaos-duo(TM) Iharu and Kafka, but also Mr. Where-are-my-kids VCpt. Hoshina to crash the party and pick them up (and beat the shit out of Narumi, only to end up at a McDonalds parking lot doing stupid drunk gang squad stuff) but I'm not one for a writer myself, (also english is not my first language, if thats not obvious) so there's that idea of mine spilled out very poorly onto the world, ur welcome xD

ANYWAY - this was such a delight to read - it was fun it was very well written. I AM REPEATING MYSELF, WHO CARES. I loved how you ...describe stuff/surroundings/happenings? XD It didn't get boring and you had a well done red thread around everything. Only thing a bit out of character was Kafkas carelessness for his employment, although that's very clearly just something you need to implement, to get the rest of the plot the way you need it to turn out, so nothing done wrong there as well :)

I AM SO MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE OF YOUR WORK NOW, THANK YOU FOR THIS ! <3

last but not least - two tiny typos found :3 "F*l*ight Kafka 690" "it was just passed on*e* (no e)"

Iharu's Day Out IS OUT OF DRAFTS!!!

@bluevelvetea BLUUUUUEEEEE!!!! GUESS WHAT!

ITS DONE! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)�� *passes out* I request a treat for my troubles *whimpers*

@renard-dartigue I know we only interacted, like, twice; maybe that, But it's got a little Kafhoshi in it, soooo.... there's that if you're interested.

and finally @sanjipussyindulgence We have NEVER interacted, but I follow you and I see your reblog tags under practically every Kn8 post so I just thought I'd cut out the middle man and give you the option to read this at your own peril. You do you.

I'm going to put this down for a while, not post or reblog (maybe) and catch up on the story ideas that I have in my back drafts. Fair warning, eventually I might make some Kafhoshi fics in the future... maybe.

I'mma go to sleep now. ┻━┻︵└(´_｀└)

[dsvirtualbar]

David Marciano, Jay Semko livestream event!

The event that prompted us to extend Ray Vecchio Day into Ray Vecchio Week is called Squeef3st (hosted by The Doctor Squee Show) and it kicks off tomorrow (Sept 25, 2021)!

The event is in support of Phoenix Rehoming, a charity that adopts and fosters dogs in England and Wales. For more info on the charity, how to donate, etc, check out the event facebook page.

The stream will be on facebook, twitch, and youtube. If you tune in to the stream, please consider donating to the fund drive!

Here's the schedule for the 24 hour livestream, with the due South related events highlighted - all times are in BST, but I've provided links to a countdown clock for the events that are potentially of interest for this comm.

2pm - Intro to the day (what time is that for me?)

2:15pm - The Phoenix Show

3pm - The 3 Amigos

4pm - Talking Codswallop

5pm - Sophie Aldred

6pm - Una McCormack

7pm - ReTrek

8pm - Holistic Buffett (Steve & Kari)

9pm - Due South by South East – David Marciano (what time is that for me?)

10pm - Ronald B Moore

11pm - Sean Kelly

12am - Midnight Alien hunters

1am - Shrewsbury Biscuit Podcast

2am - Netheads

3am - Jay Semko (what time is that for me?)

4am - Sami Shah

5am - Chuck Roy 

6am - Dead Podcast Society – Kitteh, Blain & Beej

7am  - For the Tree’s with Jeff Feightner

8am - midnight Unclassical

9am  - Ally’s All Star Dog Training

10am - Outrageous Liars

11am - Toby Hadoke

12pm - Due South by South East (what time is that for me?)

1pm - ReTrek: Star Trek Top Trumps: James King, Eliot Byers, Nicola Gossling

[catclimbingstructures]

*How To Get A Cat To Use A Scratching Post If It Refuses To* | Cat Climbing Structures

Cats can be pretty picky when it comes to scratching...that is unless is your expensive couch or cabinets. They just NEVER use what you pay for them to use, lol

Is your cat more interested in your couch than the scratching posts you get for it? Are you wondering how to get a cat to use a scratching post? Try these tips!

https://catclimbingstructures.com/get-a-cat-to-use-a-scratching-post/

[the-06]

The aftermath of Shaolin Mom that @hell-on-training-wheels​ won’t talk about:

The kittehs end up running away and forming a street gang, putting fear into the hearts of dogs everywhere. And Kung Jin could care less.

[mortia]

Replies about Kitteh

Under the cut!

parystrange replied to your video “Been tediously leash training the kitty for the past 3 months and...”

Oh look at her, isn't she just lovely <3 We've tried taking Luna out on a lead but she just hates it! I'm glad to see your kitty is better behaved than mine lol

Hahaha you never know what they’re going to like or dislike, right? I was worried she’d hate it but she was pretty damn happy and did NOT want to come back inside. Made me happy to see her rolling around in the grass and sniffing the wind and looking speculatively at trees. 

niamh-sims replied to your video “Been tediously leash training the kitty for the past 3 months and...”

Ashoka is gorgeous, by the way!

niamh-sims replied to your video “Been tediously leash training the kitty for the past 3 months and...”

What did you do to leash train her? I've had mine on leash and harness (prior to Australian Winter), and my only issue was that they keep taking off in different directions!

Sounds like you did ok then! Everything I read told me to expect that when we go outside, the cat will be walking ME and not the other way around. As in, cats will be cats and wander in their own direction and all you need to do is make sure they don’t go anywhere they shouldn’t and be quick on the reflexes to snatch them up if anything. I cannot imagine trying to walk two at once, just following her around was like navigating an obstacle course >.<

I started out by having her wear the harness for 5-10 minute intervals over the course of a month. She acted like I was killing her but she can be a bit dramatic. While she’s wearing it she’d get treats and playtime to associate the harness with fun. Just kept increasing the amount of time she would wear it over the next couple of months and the past 2 weeks have been her wearing it for an hour or so a day till she was walking around in it pretty comfortably. Took her outside and expected her to be scared but she had no hesitation and was off like a rocket lol. 

Thank you! I’ll let her know she has an admirer <3 She’s constipated right now so I’m preoccupied with being a hovering mother but hopefully she’ll feel better soon.